Where’s the love?

Actual conversation I had last night during rehearsal (just before the cops showed up):

Me: I swear, if Max the Dork ever makes it big, and we go on tour, Rusty Sweater will definitely open up for us!
Kevin and Jack: Yay!!!
*pregnant pause*
Me: Ok, here’s where you guys say…
Kevin: Thank you.
Me: No, I mean you say, “And if Rusty Sweater ever makes it big…”
Jack: And if Rusty Sweater ever makes it big…
Kevin: We’ll get Divers Lust to open for us!
Jack: Yay!!!
Me: Fuck you both.

And here’s the conversation I had with the cops:

Me: OK, we’ll stop.
Cop 1: Are you playing drums or something?
Me: Yeah, kinda, we’re having band practice.
Cop 2: Oh, are you playing in the basement?
Me: No, I wish we could! But the basement isn’t nearly high enough. We’re in the back bedroom.
Cop 2: Hey, do you need a lead singer? Because I’m available.
All of us: Hahahaha!
Cop 1: You haven’t heard him sing.
Me: That’s OK, you haven’t heard us sing either!
All of us: Hahahaha!
Cop 1: Yes we have, and that’s why we’re here.
All of us: Hahahaha!

Pitman cops are so cool.